Healthy marriages do not just happen. To have a thriving relationship with our better half, we all need to put special efforts which means both partners must go the extra mile to reach the epitome of perfection. Sometimes, negativity can invade your marital relationship in several forms that may often coexist in an oxymoron. They may begin with or eventually lead to lies, distrust, ego with ego wars following through.
That’s when negativity of whining, cynicism, and pessimism, reflects on the perfectionism for the relationship, coexisting in one of the partners can mean mix signals for the other. Well, it goes without warning that,
“if not treated it may also lead to discontent and disassociation or hyperintensity and attacking each other, and so on.”
The mix may vary from couple to couple depending on how you deal with the situation, but this is a grim picture no?
Well, almost every relationship has to go through the tough times, of one sort or another, which is as natural as breathing. Keeping negativity at bay and staying positive when the tough time comes knocking at your door is the real art to master. Tough times aid us considering our relationship as a work-in-progress, a lifelong commitment where sometimes the “lows” may outnumber the “highs.”
That being said, tough times, often, are the blessing in disguise since they help you gauge the status of your relationship at its core while drawing you closer to your spouse more often than not. It won’t be an exaggerated statement if we say that challenges and adversities are the prerequisites for a healthy marriage and putting an extra effort to keep your marital bond intact and stronger than seeing it falling apart will not hurt anybody.
Let’s explore some time-tested tips and tricks to survive and thrive through a difficult marital situation:
Accept Your Fault
Believe it or not, accepting your fault and mistakes in the first place would never let you down in front of your spouse. In fact, to be honest, accepting your fault will make your spouse think so highly of you if anything.
We are all humans after all, prone to learning from trial and error. Conflicts between couples become grave when the partner at fault tries to handle the situation obstinately without acknowledging his/her mistake.
Instead of playing the nasty blame game or passing the buck to each other, be bold and accept your mistake proactively and generously to see the magic that follows.
Saying or doing negative things in retaliation is far tougher than choosing to forgive. There are situations in every marriage where one spouse is overtly at fault, and it is natural for their spouse to harbor feelings of resentment and anger towards the one at fault.
Isn’t it great if instead of taking revenge and venting your rage out on your spouse, you opt for letting the things go and moving forward in-place of holding a grudge against your spouse?
After all, who doesn’t need the peace of mind? Not treading too much on the issue at hand would make things easier for both of you to handle while creating a room for reconciliation. It is a common observation that couples who resolve the issues at their earliest are more prone to a thriving relationship.
Listen to Each Other Actively
Conflicts and issues between couples are mostly based on perceptions than reality. Whenever a bad time strikes your marital life, always turn towards your partner to listen to their views and perceptions before deciding to be the sole in-charge of the situation and trying to resolve things single-handedly.
Talking to your spouse in an effective manner doesn’t matter much if what one says fall on deaf ears. So, never take the words coming out of the mouth of your spouse for-granted, instead listen to them carefully and patiently.
More than half of the conflicts get nipped in the bud because of effective communication, and active listening is the most important component of it.
Focus on Good Parts
Be grateful for what you have since many would gladly switch places if that chance ever existed. One can’t stay positive in the face of adversities by magic, or a sudden stroke of luck or by chance; instead, staying positive in all situations is a choice and an art to learn and master.
When you feel stuck in a bad situation with your spouse, you often try to count on all the good memories of the good times your relationship with each other. Don’t try to relive them. You have come far and the situation has changed, you two have been living together and that changes a lot. If you have kids, even more. Don’t be nostalgic rather, retrospective! Look at the memories to create new, fresh memories of positivity and keep making them until the two of you become grandma and grandpa.
Think about all the mesmerizing stuff and traits which drove you towards your spouse, and try to re-spark their personality. The two of you are connected in life and if one of you glows it doesn’t mean they are going to outshine the other. Husband and wife are in a conducting relationship, which means if one glows, the other glows with them.
Thinking about all the good things about your bond and your partner will have a magical effect on your deteriorating relationship with your spouse. This strategy would curb the bitterness and help to suppress the toxicity level to a great extent between you two.