Relationships are hard, there are so many rules, both said and unsaid, that you have to follow if you want to have a chance of sustaining it. And unfortunately, there isn’t some magical math equation that can solve this conundrum. But not all is lost, you don’t have to go into a relationship blind and hope for the best, because we have compiled a list of 5 tips that can help you not ruin a new relationship.
Stop being the first to text
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Look I get it, a new relationship is fun, exhilarating, you want to know as much about the person as possible and you can’t help but feel the need to keep talking to them in some way shape or form, be it calling or texting. But hold on a minute, while texting every now and then is fine and all, your partner might even find your enthusiasm cute, there is however a fine line between cute and annoying.
There are many ways to tread this perilous line, the most important of which are to identifying context clues that let you know your current standing.
For example, let’s say you’re writing long walls of text and your partner is replying in kind, well cool, all is good, however if they’re only replying with one or two words like “Okay” or “I agree”, it’s probably a sign they aren’t really interested in having a chat.
At this point you need to start giving them a little breathing room and let them be the one to text you first, otherwise, you could arrive at a situation where once your texts were cute and appreciative to annoying and unwelcoming.
Wait for them to respond.
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While we’re still on the subject of texting – stop sending them multiple texts before they’ve had a chance to respond. I get it, texting can be infuriating at times, especially when you have something important to say and the person on the other side doesn’t respond in quite a while.
That being said, if you keep bombarding them with texts, all you’re doing is inviting in a future argument, in which your partner gets mad at you for the constant messaging. And at that point, whatever the reason you may have had for texting them may be lost.
So, as hard as it may seem, wait for them to respond to your initial text instead of barraging them with a novel of text.
Don’t tag along unless invited.
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Your Partner: Hey, I’m going to go hang out with a couple of my friends You: Cool let’s go!If you think that there is nothing wrong with this conversation, I have some bad news for you. Never forget that you aren’t the only relationship in your partner’s life. And while they love hanging out with you, sometimes they just want to chill with their friends. You also won’t be winning over their friends when you constantly involve yourself in their plans. And if you think it’s okay to do this because your partner never tells you no, you’re wrong. This isn’t a problem that occurs instantly but instead builds up over time. Before you know it, your partner might even stop telling you about their plans out of fear that you might invite yourself. And that is never a good sign for a relationship.
Don’t stalk them on social media.
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I get it, thanks to social media, it’s really easy to track everything your partner does, did or will do. But if there is one thing we can agree on, there is nothing creepier than a person who likes, comments or mentions you in every single post. It comes off as super clingy, and a little bit worrisome. And while everybody likes attention, it can also be quite embarrassing to have their partner who keeps tagging them on Facebook. And you just know they’re friends are going to notice you doing this and convince your partner how creepy it is, even if they don’t initially think it.
The best way to know you’ve gone too far? When you start commenting on posts that predate your relationship.
Don’t rush it.
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And finally, the best way not to ruin a relationship is taking it slow. When you’re in the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship its quite easy to see your partner as the “one”. And that may very well be true, however, keep that to yourself, at least for now. No one likes to be rushed into a commitment, if you start making long-term romantic plans or sending them articles on marriages, you will probably scare them away.
If you want a relationship to get to the sophomore years, take your foot off the pedal and take it one day at a time.