Can Mixed Orientation Marriages Work?


In a mixed orientation marriage, one partner is LGBTQ while the other is heterosexual. Many mixed orientation marriages have ended in agony and confusion, those feelings are intensified when children are involved. As such, these types of marriages are rarely seen as a good option, and yet for the members of the Mormon church, it’s an option they’re very willing to take.

While the Mormon Church does not believe that being attracted to the same sex is a sin, they still do not approve of same-sex marriages. Therefore, Mormons who identify as LGBTQ willingly enter into mixed-orientation marriages.

There are many reasons LGBTQ members are willing to do this, one of which is that they may continue to have a good relationship with the Mormon church, as long as they refrained from indulging in any acts of homosexuality. Of course, that doesn’t mean adultery is allowed. To maintain their membership and be allowed to attend the Sunday worship services of the LDS Church, the members must follow the law of chastity, which prohibits extramarital affairs.

So can mixed orientation marriages work?

Much like traditional marriages, the success of a mixed orientation marriage is dependent on the couple. Every couple is unique, what works for one does not necessarily mean that it will work for another. The success or failure of a mixed orientation marriage is dependent on several factors.

1. A Strong Foundation.

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The survivability of a relationship is dependent on the strength of the foundation the relationship is built on. The harder the challenge or struggle, the stronger the foundation must be to keep it intact. There might be a handful of things or if any that are as challenging to overcome in a relationship as people with different sexual orientation.

For a mixed orientation relationship to be successful, it must be built on a foundation strong enough to handle such a challenge.

2. Sex drive.

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If both partners have a low sex drive, there won’t be as much of a desire to find alternate partners. That being said, your sexual orientation is not just about your preferred sexual partner, It also a way people express themselves and how deeply they can connect with someone. It’s easier for a person to develop a deeper bond and understanding with someone they’re sexually attracted to as opposed to someone they aren’t.

That said, it isn’t impossible, there are many different forms of love out there, and like many traditional marriages, a marriage does not require only one type of love to survive.

3. Acceptance.

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We don’t choose our sexual orientation. For a mixed orientation relationship to survive, this fact must be understood and accepted.  If you spend most of your energy trying to turn your gay spouse straight, you will be fighting a losing battle. There’s no evidence that such a thing will work, and even the best of attempts are simply temporary.

Even though mixed orientation marriages have a 70% divorce rate, the success of one isn’t impossible, just incredibly difficult. It would be a long and thorny path filled with incredible challenges and hurdles, but if you feel strongly about your relationship, then you owe it to yourself to try.


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