Look, most of us want to be helpful to the people we care about and saying “no” is hard and uncomfortable whilst simply saying “yes” is easier and less awkward. This is a common problem among people who are empathic or nurturing by nature. The simple thought of hurting someone’s feeling makes us feel guilty, however simply saying “yes” all the time will always come back to haunt us because we usually over overcommit our time and energy.
So here are 5 times if completely fine to say no!
When it Disrupts Your Own Plans: Perhaps you’ve made plans to go a see movie you’ve been looking forward to all week, or there is a new restaurant in town you really want to try. In situations like these, it’s perfectly okay to say no. You aren’t a bad person for declining your friend’s requests, you’re simply prioritizing yourself over others for once. And we all need to learn to do that.
It Puts You in an Uncomfortable Situation: It’s understandable to do something that you find uncomfortable for the sake of your friend or family. But that does not mean you should make a habit of it. A lot of people have a hard time saying “no” to people even if it makes them feel uncomfortable out of fear of hurting their feelings. At times like these, instead of agreeing to do something you don’t want to, having an honest conversation with the person about why you find accepting their request uncomfortable. As a result, the person may be understanding and rescind their request or they might work out a way to remove your discomfort. So don’t be afraid to bring up your discomfort, it could have a positive outcome.
If They Inform You Last Minute: We can all sympathize with approaching deadlines, emergencies and unforeseen circumstances, but if your friend asking for a favor last minute is more of a habit rather than a rare occurrence, feel free to tell them no. This isn’t just for yourself, your friend should learn to manage their affairs more carefully, and you know always bailing them out isn’t helping them.
If It Leads to Bitterness: Continuously saying yes to someone is always going to lead resentment. We’ve all had that moment when you get a call from someone and the first thought that pops into your head is “What do they want now?”. Such thoughts usually grow and grow until the resentment causes the relationship to end badly. To imperative to start saying no in such instances or if possible start proposing alternatives that don’t involve you.
If You’re Already Overwhelmed: At the end of the day we are just humans, there is only so much we can handle. Life can hit you hard when you least expect it. Every one of us will go through a time where we feel like everything around us is falling apart and it’s taking everything we have just to maintain it. It could be an especially tense week at work, a deadline you completely forgot about, or a project taking longer and more resources then you expected. At a time like this, you aren’t doing anyone a favor by accepting your friends request. Not only would you be unable fulfill the request, you might screw yourself over too. Talk to your friend and explain your situation, a true friend would be very understanding.
Credit: Christain Erfurt Unsplash
These were the 5 times where it’s completely fine to say no. Truth of the matter is that the simple act of saying “no” can make life much easier and less complicated. So why not start today?